The Niner
Herein lies a tale of a mysterious, deadly, often misunderstood force of nature, The Niner. No, it’s not a profile of Joe Montana. Or any other member of the San Francisco 49ers.
And it’s not a story about shorthand terms from either the airline pilot’s industry or a part of a message coming from a police car. (“We’ve got a make on that license plate, and it’s Emm, Cee, Vee, Niner, Niner, Niner”) And it’s definitely not a story about fictitious adult star Dirk Diggler. What IS this Niner, then, you ask?
Hint. It’s something from baseball, not football.
It’s not a good thing, either. Unless of course, you are competing against or facing an opponent in fantasy baseball. And it happens to the OTHER guy.
The Niner is that evil thing that happens during a baseball game when a pitcher in fantasy outs up a statistical stat line that includes giving up a horrific NINE earned runs. You want it to happen to the other guy. Sometimes, it happens to your guy. And it is brutal.
Because, inevitably, the Niner also includes you putting up an equally devastating WHIP (a fantasy stat of Walks and Hits per Innings Pitched) number. If you are playing in a weekly leagues, with competitions head up against an opponent, your horrific Niner will almost guarantee to doom you to a loss that week. If you are playing in a rotisserie league with stats cumulatively compiled over a whole season, then that Niner will take about half the season (not that bad, I’m exaggerating, but it’s pretty tough to make up all those runs) to overcome in E.R.A. and usually WHIP also.
How does a pitcher get left in there that extra length of time long enough to get a Niner, you ask? Why wouldn’t he get yanked earlier, you wonder? That’s the (UGLY) beauty of the Niner. Normally, a pitcher is gone by the time he’s given up about five or six runs. But, this unfortunate pitcher is usually giving up dink hits, a few too many walks, and seems to have enough stuff to get himself out of the jams. But then, when he’s just about to get out of that last jam, he gives up the big hit with the bases loaded, driving in three more runs, and leaving him one more runner on base when he’s finally yanked.
Or, the pitcher finally gets pulled with the bases loaded in a game that’s close, like maybe he’s even leading 6 to 5 or something. The manager brings in his lefty to face the other team’s left handed hitter… only to see that lefty give up a triple of a home run and allow ALL of those runs that had been on base to get charged against the starter. The end result… a Niner.
The Niner. It’s as American as moldy apple pie and a Chevy that needs a new transmission. It is the fantasy baseball “owner’s” Nightmare on Elm Street. It can ruin a team. Almost ruin a season. And you never know when one might pop up. Even really good pitchers have had a Niner (or an Eighter) pinned on them.
So, what can you do? A Niner is like the freak, forces of nature. A tornado. A hurricane. An earthquake. You need to know that they MIGHT happen. You have to dread the possibility of them happening. And also, you need to prepare for the inevitably that they might happen, and then, if they do, you do your best to try to deal with the damage.
The bottom line is, you just have to hope that The Niner happens to the OTHER guy, not you.
