LOL
The week before the Super Bowl is upon us and you will soon discover that IANAPWLLOL (I Am Not A Person Who Likes “Laughing Out Loud”). In most cases, when that little three letter acronym has been used, I don’t think anything has actually been uttered that CAL (Causes Actual Laughing). In fact, my real problem is that, in most cases, nobody has a freaking clue what the ABUIAAA (Acronym Being Used Is Actually All About).
If they did, they’d realize that their LOL that is pretty much used at least once every minute by MPWTAL (Most People Who Text A Lot) is in no way connected to the actual act of laughing, and that at no time in the entire history of the use of the acronym has it EVER resulted in a person who actually laughed OL (Out Loud). A wry smile to oneself does not count, as an actual laugh must UTVC (Use The Vocal Chords).
And yet people continue to use that same, lame, shorthand phrase as if they UWTWS (Understood What They Were Saying). I’m sorry, I’m not impressed, CUWSB (Come Up With Something Better). It’s time for a new MAA (More Accurate Acronym) to describe something that, at best, causes someone to CQTHOH (Chuckle Quietly To His Or Herself).
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STATG (Some Things About The Game)
People don’t want to admit this, but what the Super Bowl is really about for the network production people who put the game on TV is TBD (Tom Brady’s Dimples). Since half of the inflated Super Bowl audience is WHNWF (Women Who Never Watch Football), TV people like to think that the big attraction to that half of the audience is usually lots of shots of the BLGOTF (Best Looking Guy On The Field).
The BBC (Bill Belichick Cheating) Circus will be in town to handle all of the days leading up to the big game. That means all kinds of stories about UFO’s (Underinflated Football Objectives) will be talked about AN (Ad Nauseum). I heard on the news today somebody calling Belichick TRNOPF (The Richard Nixon Of Pro Football). That line is AB (Awesome, Baby).
A lot of the Seattle Seahawks story will be about whether running back Marshawn Lynch plays like BM (Beast Mode) or plays like he needs a BM (plays like CRAP and needs a BM).
One of the factors that will determine the outcome of the game will be whether or not New England can underinflate the footballs enough to counteract the Seattle GAHPD (Grab And Hold Pass Defense). Seattle is the MPTIF (Most Penalized Team In Football) and Belichick is, well, a man who likes to BTRLBTGAA (Bend The Rules Like Beckham To Gain An Advantage).
Vegas has the over/under at 49, but some people are wondering if that is the point spread, or the NODFOTSPF (Number Of Drones Found Over The Seattle Practice Field). Spygate has a way of making people think TWAPM (The Worst About People’s Motives).
It should be a good Super Bowl, because both teams should have enough offense to never be out of the game, and both teams have coaches who know how to win WTGGT (When The Going Gets Tough).
And the team that wins the Super Bowl will win The Lombardi Trophy, named after a man who was an LOL (Lover Of Lasagna).
And on that note, we will end the usage of ATYASOS (Acronyms That You Are Sick Of Seeing). At least I explain WTDAAAA (What The Damn Acronyms Are All About).
